I.D.K.,,

i feel like my life is at a stand still..I'm not doing anything..I'm not working..I'm not in school..I'm just here..feels like I'm wasting away..i feel like my life is on pause for the first time of my life..i don't feel like myself anymore..like i don't get excited anymore..I'm rarely happy..sometimes i feel numb..like i don't feel anything..i mean yea i still hang out..but sometimes id rather stay in..i NEVER use to like staying in..but now id rather do that than anything else..i feel so UN-accomplished i been out of school for a year..and when i was in school for that one little semester i didn't take advantage of it..to be honest i could have BEEN in school but i procrastinated..to be honest i don't think college is for me anymore..after my grandmother died and i had to leave St.Aug apart iv me died..i know college would benefit me in the long run..but its plenty of people who lead happy and successful lives with out a college degree..i mean yes college is nice but its not mandatory for a happy life..you know what the more i think about it i kind of want to change my major..i don't think my heart is in forensics anymore..I.D.K why but its just not hitting home like it use to for me..i mean I've been wanting to be a Forensic Scientist since about the 9th grade..but before that i wanted to be an obstetrician because i like kids which brings me back to my change of heart..i think i wanna change my major to either social worker or early childhood development and teach either elementary school or work at a daycare center and minor in criminal justice..but i know there is no money in teaching..but i would be doing what i love..I.D.K..i have about a year left to let my heart decide..i remember when i was little i wanted to be just like my mommy =).♥.an endoscopy technician..i wanted to be a writer..a professional cheerleader..i wanted to be everything under the sun i had my whole life planed out..its funny how when your a child you could picture your life and how it will turn out not knowing that its a slim chance it will actually happen...sometimes i wish i could go back to my childhood..you know..no cares..you fall mommy would kiss it and make it all better..making best friends on the first day of school..you have a bad dream you can sleep with mommy..you get sick mommy make you feel special & she does extra little things to ease the pain..i miss the innocence..when i didn't have a care in the world...