Fingers on tha keyboard...i guess,,

Um kind of bored jus um sitting thinking or whatever…what should I talk about? Idk.uhmmm…

-FRIENDs I guess. What exactly does that mean? We toss that word around too loosley..sort ov like LOVE..i think those are two very powerful and strong words but we really dont know how to use them & their true meaning...but uhmm Friend’s yeaa I don’t have many…I thought I did, but i later found out everybody is not ment to be your friends..yu have (3) kinds of friends..yu have yr LEAF friends..your BRANCH friends and your ROOTS friends..the LEAF friends stay for a season and is gone before the next..the BRANCH friend hangs in there with yu for a while but soon breaks off because the hold wasnt good enough..but the ROOT friend is there forever..stuck like glue..never letting go..a friend should understand self-sacrifice, it takes two to have a friendship…sorta like a relationship I guess. Friends love UNCODITIONALLY.friends don’t bring up past favors to pressure you into doing one, FRIENDS do things of the heart not of what you could do for them..friends are a blessing..if you have some that are .[TRUE].That’s great. And if you had some and lost them that’s all good too, you win some you loose some sometimes the very thing GOD is trying to tear us away from or free is from is the very things were so DESPERATE to hold on to..we need to learn to let go and let god.

-[Me], um I really don’t know, I think IM kind of a weirdo wear my heart on my sleeve and show each and every emotion that I am feeling..Im SUPER bad at hiding my feelings. [IF YOU T R U L Y KNOW ME]. Kind of a hotheaded loud mouth, um I can be a tad too goofy at times, which tends to annoy some people..[I kind of do it on purpose].lls.its ji like how i show my love sometimes..I don’t know wen to be quiet..Im VERY OPINIONATED! If I feel that I am right about something and your trying to prove me wrong, even if I am wrong I will DEFEND it to thee end. I think my weirdo ways, out going personality, and illuminating full of life antics attract people to me.Even though i dont like peole..not too many people have seen me mad, sad, or cry, I kinda have a protective field around me and is hesitant to let people in I wasn’t always like that it just sort of happened idk when though. I can count on both hands the "friends" that have seen me cry. -&nd I have considered A LOT of people friends..im kind of secretive I mean I share my feelings with my friends but only a select few know my "secrets"..Im still trying to learn how to differentiate friends from associates associates from enemies, and enemies from users.some one once told me that im too forgiving, that if someone killed me and I came back to life I would still be there friend..at that time I took it as a joke but as time went on that statement had become somewhat true.i guess i just think that theres a good side to EVERYBODY..I don’t like to repeat myself, I feel like I’m being dumbed down when i have to break things down and try to explain it in lames terms. I also kind of like when people think I’m dumb, some find it weird but I don’t. I love being doubted because when I speak my mind and say what mean and mean what I say the looks on their faces amaze me. A lot of people don’t know that I am actually very smart I just don’t apply myself, which is dumb in a sense..whatever enough of that.I had some friends that I wanted to be around constantly because of how much fun I had with them…but it was taken as me being to clingy..I mean i'm not afraid to admit dat I can b ah tad clingy. anyway uhm yea, I got a best friend. Well she’s more like my sister we been best friends for 7 years we have been through a lot.cried together mean we jus did whatever. But as we got older we’ve gotten way different I mean we still tight like glue -and I tell her everything but sometimes I feel like I really cant talk to her but sometimes I feel like she has no conversation for me. I mean wen we were younger the 2 3-hr conversations about nothing use to excite me. But I mean wen we get older so should our vewis on life. sometimes i feel like she puts me on the back burner for a lot of things and people and I feel best-friends don’t act like this. Idk that’s jus my thoughts, but me I always put people first which is why I think I be feeling so hurt wen I feel like I’ve been betrayed, let down or mistreated, idk why. I’ve always felt that way. Even though we’ve been friends for years we have never not communicated with each other. She’s still my best friend and we still clique. I love her too much to lose her as a friend.

Lately I’ve learned to not care because people are going to be who they are regardless of your feelings. I mean it’s hard to tell who’s really there for you and have your best interest a heart. Some people jus deal with you because they know the advantages of being your friend or being cool with you. Some people are fake with you for years, which is truly grimy you know what I mean? You know smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend, and show no traces of the evil that lurks within. You got to be careful these day’s....